FoodForThought-Things we need to give up in order to be happy

There is a very intriguing facebook page called "Higher Perspective". I discovered it one day by accident when i saw an interesting video that one of my facebook friends had posted through this page. This video was my food for thought. So let's go ahead and elaborate on some tips that the creators of this page suggest that we should give up in order to be happy.

1 Dwelling on the past
We have all been told not to stay focused on the past. When I was feeling frustrated about something that had happened my loved ones always used this sentence. At the time I was not able to pay close attention and see that they were right. Dwelling on the past can only do you harm because we are talking about things,situations,events that had already happened and we can not change them even if we are talking about a breakup or even death.

2 Worrying about the future
Personally, I am one of those people who are constantly thinking about their future. Unfortunately,in this way,we are missing out on so many things that happen in our lives currently. Whether there is a God out there or not, worrying about things that you can not control in the future will only destroy your mental stability. Not forget to mention about the severe anxiety that you will be facing every single day. When life is hard and you are having a bad day try to relax and do things that calm your soul.

3 Negative Self talk
Nobody can deny the fact that negativity flows into our veins every single day. Some people might be more pessimist than others and I strongly believe that it has to do with their traits and their experience. The key is to accept the fact that there is not a single thing in this world that it is perfect including ourselves. We all have features that we do not like though that does not mean that they are not appealing to others. We are all beautiful and unique.

4 The need to impress others
It is in our nature to boast about certain things and try to impress others. Sometimes we even lie not only to others but most importantly, to ourselves. If a person is happy with her choices then she won't have to boast about anything or try to impress anyone because she would simply be focused on her work and her personal achievements.

5 The need to always be right
There is a strange feeling that hunts me everytime  I am not right. I have not figured out yet if I am one of those people who always want to be right no matter what but i came to the conclusion that it is okay to make mistakes. Like i mentioned before a person should not feel the need to impress anyone or be right  all the time. We learn from our mistakes and become stronger.

6 Restistance to change
I won't lie and i will admit that change frightens me a lot. When I finished highschool I was whining about entering at my university. After a few months I found myself overflown of  happiness, I was so thankful that I left school. About a month ago I graduated from college and now, I found myself scared to the thought that I am working because my life has simply changed yet again. But development is in our nature along with change and it is something that we should all accept. It is not in our hands to change it anyway, and personally, inaction is my worst enemy.


7 Blaming others
When an incident occurs or even worse, when we are not sattisfied with a choice that we took, we tend to blame everything on others . Taking responsibility for our actions will only improve us in a way that we will be more true not only to ourselves but also to others.

Overall, there are many ways that an individual can achieve happiness and there are many things that one should eliminate from her life in order to be happy. This post was inspired by a certain video and I am only referring to certain tips from the creators of this video.  

FoodForThought- Insight vs methodically thinking

(nymag.com)

Random realizations seem to be extremely connected to success. An amazing example is for instance Archimedes,the ancient Greek mathematician who notice that the density of an object could be measured by the volume of water it displaced as soon as he settled in for a bath. 
The results of many studies indicate that when a person is trying really hard to solve a problem using a strategy rather than his or her insights,it is more likely to find the solution after a lot of hours and there's even the probability of an error at the results. So it turns out that we really do think brilliant thoughts in the shower. But that does not necessarily means that we have to shower in order to find inspiration or the solution to certain problems.
The message that is being hidden in the specific article is the following: in order to find inspiration and solution to problems one must be free,relaxed and lose control for a little bit. Give himself/herself a break including body,mind and soul. Rest is of the essence and even the greatest machines need a little break sometimes. The functionality along with the solutions to certain problems will come naturally without any strategies. But one must not forget that working with specific strategies is also essential but is not so highly connected to imagination and innovation.

Letting go

Letting go can be very tricky,very hard to deal with.. and most of the time it's a fight you got to face on your own. If you are lucky and you have the right people by your side you will be able to overcome what is that tortures you,other times you might find yourself in a world of your own for many reasons,either you don't want to open up about your problem or you think that nobody can understand you.
At this point you may ask..how can i let go? Let go of what hurts me,of what i secretly don't want to forget?Well here comes the serious and complicated stage of what i like to call it <<state of one's happiness>> I constantly seem to talk about happiness and how to achieve it and that is because i have been through numerous of bad situations and i finally figure out that indeed happiness is a state of mind , is something that you choose,something that you have to work hard everyday,it won't come to you free handed. Back to our main subject for this post. How to let go of what hurts you. Well personally i would suggest the following
1) Find the problem-the cause,define what is it exactly that you can't let go. Is it a person?Is it a memory? If it is a memory the only think i can assure you for a fact (at least based on my experience) is that it will eventually go away after a long period of time,it will drift apart while you are out and about,while your life changes because it will change nothing stays the same forever.
2)Are you willing to try and move forward or do you plainly complain about your pain without taking any actions ? You are a mess i know but it is intrinsic to let go,let go only if you want to. Otherwise by pushing yourself you won't get anything out of it,only hurt nothing more.Don't feel sad about how you feel or how much you've cried over and over again about this. Remind yourself constantly that everything happens for a reason and it is better to have experiences like this one,those setbacks will construct your new and powerful self.
3) Congratulations now you are in the final step or as i call it, <<the acceptance stage>>. You have awareness of what is going on and what is it that you really want to let go . On this stage you gonna have to talk with yourself for several hours. Analyze every single thing and see the advantages and the drawbacks you gained from this experience because that is what everything is ,an experience to make you stronger and open up your mind about everything.
A memory has the power that you fid it with. Even if the only thing that you want to do right know is sitting down and crying for days or eat your feeling in a vast box of chocolates you can't change the unchangeable fact.Time never ceases,it will continue even if you don't want it because your everyday routine eventually will change and you will change to,the only difference is that when you really want to let go you will achieve happiness earlier . If you are still struggling you may have to fight for just a little bit longer,but in the end you will survive and you will be you again . A new fierce and potent you!

Random thoughts(Music)

I'm sitting in a chair at my piano teachers house . I'm waiting for my time to play . I arrived early as usual , i always like to be on time . There's an old man playing ''besame moucho''. He plays with difficulty and slowly which reminds me of myself when i first started to play.
It's funny how amazing music can make you feel . It's a different world , a strange connection to a magical place . It also reminds me of an incident that occur a few days ago.I was in the bus and a lady probably in her 50s was sitting across from me . She was staring outside the window and when we passed throught a big building which seemed to me like a corporation,she started to smile widely which made me question what crossed her mind at that moment . What ever it was,for a strange reason,it made me think about music.

One year ago it was my first piano lesson ever with the person who changed me completly . She is by far the best teacher i ever had . Typically me , being nervous for my piano exams next saturday , i panicked and she said the most beautiful things about my progression that i've ever heard . Music is my life . I play for a total of 3 and a half years in particular 1 year with a teacher . And i managed to be ready for a diploma. I feel so proud about myself and i believe in me for the first time . I know that i usually write posts about other stuff but i just wanted to post this one . To remember this specific day and how happy i feel and proud about myself . And even though people can't understand my craze about music , i'm overflowing with hapiness . My hero, my savior,my whole life, my everything, the one thing i know for fact it won't betray me and it'll always be here to ease the pain.

Forever Young?

It's a typical wednesday night full of liabilites. I decided to take a break. I was scrolling through tumblr when i came across a post talking about the melancholia of growing up.
No one can deny it,time passes by extremely fast,it's not something you can control.. you will grow up.. you will die..
Ever since i was a little kid i used to find myself in a perpetual fear about death with my mom always standing by my side reassuring me that everything is going to be okay. I can't explain why but i guess we all feel a little bit scared sometimes mainly about how many time we've left,how many minutes,hours,days until we die.Perhaps my biggest fear isn't death but the thought of not staying forever young...
They say '' nothing ventured,nothing gained''.I personally haven't figure out how to be spontaneous and careless but i try to do so everyday. By thinking negatively i only exacerbate the situation. But those few seconds that your heart is pounding really fast by the fear of the unknown,the inevitable end,oh they frighten me so much. You try to alleviate the pain by restricting your mind.  Consequently you cry  then you perk up. Because life is beautiful. Even though youth seems to be like a fairytale it wouldn't make sense if changes didn't occur. Life would be boring and miserable, there wouldn't be any progress or spiritual growth..
Therefore you should try to be a better person every single day,to appreciate what you have and to gave to those in need. Don't stress out about work and every once in a while venture into something...travel the whole world on a whim with your loved ones..say the things you want to say .. and always be proud of yourself.

Depression

Sometimes we all go through a long period of depression. We fell neglected and mostly weak. We have a huge gap and hundrends of questions going thourgh our heads. I do know what it means to be lost inside your own negative world. The last few weeks were truly difficult for me. I'm writing this article so i can give some tips to those of you who are going through this taught situation. 
First of all, i want to point out that every living creature in this world is going to die alone. It's a fact that everyone should accept. I do not wish to talk about afterlife in this article. I just simply want to emphasize that lonelinnes will always be a part of our lives. So when you are going through this situation try to talk with a friend ,perhaps a member of your family or even at a specialist doctor. If you do not wish to do the above or you think that your friends won't understand you then you can move forward to the next step.  
Try to understand that you can't always be in control. Don't judge me, i understand the pleasure of achieving something by yourself,i am a control freak too. But my friend,in this case you need someone or even something that will help you get out of this black hole. That something can even be music. Listen to sad songs and let your emotions or your anger out. That will make everything go away easily and quickly.In other words,try to find something that fills you with inspiration and energy. Besides don't forget that the biggest composers or writers,created incredible and valuable pieces at the most difficult phases of their lives.
The next step is to go outside. Yeah i know that you don't wanna leave your room which is the only place you feel safe. But i want you to try the following. Go for a walk by yourself along with your favorite music. Sit in a park. Then notice the birds,the fountain,the beautiful and worm sun,the wind blowing in your face. YOU my friend,YOU ARE ALIVE.Appreciate that !
When you are sitting there try to find the reason you are unhappy. If you feel that your friends do not support you then talk to them,you may have misunderstood. If you're right then kick them out of your life for good and never let them back in. You can also create a diary or a blog. Writing your feelings down can really help you. Try to remember happy memories of your life so far and write them down along with your dreams and goals. Then everytime you feel sad and you are in this black hole go and read these pages. And don't you ever forget that the meaning of life is to go through storms until you reach your final destination. Any bad experience,choice or condition comes into your life to teach you a lesson and make you stronger !

Happiness

If you ask most people ''what is happiness?'', you'll see that everyone is going to answer you in a different way. For example some will say that they're happy with the purchase of a new car,others are happy 'cause they have in their lives people they love,while others(including myself) are happy when they listen to music,read a book or going out with friends. So we can understand that we cannot give a simple answer to this question. Firstly because as we said,each human finds happiness in many different things or situations. Secondly humans are constructed in a way that they can never be completely happy and satisfied. Many will disagree and say that they have everything in their lives right now and they are happy. I don't dispute. But for how long this happiness is going to maintain? For just a few hours,days or perhaps weeks until they get bored and complain that they are unhappy.
At this point i want to make a distinction. There are several people who are optimistic even if they have gone through hard situations. But that does not mean that they are happy,they are simply strong characters and prefer to face the situations with confidence and smile.
To find happiness first you need to identify the reason that you are unhappy. Maybe it's because of an illness or loss of a partner, friend, etc. Once you identify the reason try to think whether or not you can change it. If it is something which you can then choose to be optimistic and change the situation. If it's not in your hand try to be patient until it's gone because that's the cycle of life. And since you can not change the situation just relax and go ahead as it is in your hand.
Then you should find the thing that offers you joy and happiness. Whether it's an object or a person try to get it. In a sense, happiness is connected with dreams and aspirations. If you can make your dreams come true,automatically you are happy. Fill your days with optimism, smile, love, peace. And remember,when you make one of your dreams come true then you should create another dream,in this way you'll never going to be unhappy because you constantly trying to conquer something, and when you manage to do it then it comes happiness. Finding happiness is to be an everyday fighter,against life,against yourself.

Love

What is love? Most of us have wondered that question many times, how to understand love, how to share it, where to find it. I am not a philosopher nor a researcher to know the right answers. I can only state my personal aspect of love.
The day we are born,we are introduced to love by loving our mother.Then our father who protect us from harm.Then as we grow up we make friends,we have social contacts, relationships,we learn to love people outside our family. But there are people who do not have family nor friends. Does this means that they do not know how to love or they don't deserve to be loved?Of course the answer is no.
So we need to understand that we are all human beings able to love and be loved. Love is a strong emotion that you feel for someone .What you feel for your family is different from what you feel for example your partner, your pet, your friends etc. Therefore we can say that we are able to "dispense" our love into lots of things.
But what is love? A simple feeling with various different intensity levels? For me love is a sweet look of my mother, the tenderness of her hug. It is the safety of my home, the passion for life.Love is to care for someone more than you care for your own self. You can find it everywhere. You got to be patient and have strength.You will get hurt on your journey but you have to pass through the obstacles of your life. You need to remember,you cannot force someone to love you. That is the way life works. Eventually you will receive it.
Well love is a difficult concept, impossible to define it completely. You can only understand it when you feel it. You cannot describe it with words. You can feel it everywhere and everyday.Be happy, always hope, be strong, do not give up. Everyone deserves to be loved. You will get hurt i know. But this is the magic of life. Remember that love lives in you. You still have it  even if you've never received it. Love is kindness,learn to live wisely and always share it,everybody needs love.

Health

It's sad the fact that most people take for granted their health.According to a research in America(2010) there were  2,515,458 deaths. 596,577 came from heart disease,576,691 from cancer,142,943 from chronic lower respiratory diseases,128,932 from stroke (cerebrovascular diseases),126,438 from accidents (unintentional injuries),84,974 from alzheimer's disease,73,831 from diabetes,53,826 from influenza and pneumonia,45,591 from nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis and 39,518 from intentional self-harm (suicide).I can't even begin to describe how terrible i feel about our spieces especially for the suicide deaths.
The majority of people today does not appreciate the fact that they are alive and healthy. There are people out there where a hospital is their second home.I'm not asking for compassion and sympathy. I'm asking for love and peace because nothing is given. Suddenly a human's life can change, tomorrow morning you may wake up just to go to school or work and discover that you have cancer. Life is precious, learn to appreciate it, other people do not have the ability to live like you. Appreciate what you have,learn not to ask for more. Of course there will always be '' jealousy '' because that's the way you're born​​. For example you want a new glorious house, a new expensive car etc. You forget that a sick person just wants his health. He wants to be able to live normally.
Don't criticize me and dont judge me. Of course i am one of those people who definitely can't appreciate anything. And that's the reason why i'm writing these. I'm trying to change everyday and so can you. Be happy for the little things in your life. Even if you can't see it now one day you'll realize how important they are. Always be safe and be healthy. Love your life and don't give up.

Bullying

I wanted to write about this issue for a really long time. i decided to do it and not waste another minute.
I just finished watching a youtube video called ''teens react to bullying'' and it inspired me to write about my experience.I'm not gonna go into further details i just wanna admit that i was a victim of bullying at my school. Of course the way you are being bullied is different around the world but mainly ''is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others''.
 Since i can remember myself i was constantly a victim. At first i thought it was because i was definitely not a social kid.Then i thought it was because of my ''not so girly'' appearance. But now days i finally know the truth. Who ever you are in this planet , straight,gay,short,tall, people are gonna judge you. If you don't stand up for yourself eventually you''ll be a victim too. I never talked to basically anyone when i was a victim and that was the biggest mistake. Talk to your parents,your friends,inform your school and your teachers.
Of course the first thing that a victim thinks is the fact that most schools,teachers etc don't actually do something to stop the situation. Sometimes they will try and talk to the offender but do nothing more. Bullying has to stop ! People are getting hurt everyday for no reason.
If you have a problem with your life,your family it's your thing, deal with it,don't try to put other people down! We have to love each other no matter what.
If you are a victim i can honestly understand how you feel. Don't give up ! You are amazing ! You are different and you are supposed to be different ! Don't cry and don't give up !DO NOT THINK THAT SUICIDE IS THE ONLY WAY . YOU ARE NOT ALONE !
They are hundreds of numbers and sites that you can search. Pretty please try to control the situation ! TALK TO SOMEONE  !   Feel free to contact me anytime .

When it rains

i'm sad..idk if weather and rain have anything to do with the fact that i miss you..But yeah i do.. i'm not gonna talk about you though..
Growing up is the most amazing gift but also curse to me.. as the years pass by i can clearly see that life is short.. i wanna travel and i wanna do a lot of things before i die.. i refuse to loose my best friends or let them go.. eventually i know that we gonna loose touch..Not because we don't love each other but we all have to choose our path and ''deal'' with our destiny,make families etc.
So from now on everytime it rains i'll always remember the people that i love wherever they would be in this world..when it rains i'll always hope for a bright future..for better and happier days..i'll always hope that one day i will live the rest of my life with my loved ones..When it rains i promise  God that i'll try and be a better person.. i'll try to fight everything and follow my dreams.. i'll try to appreciate my bad choices and those who hurt me in the past..when it rains everything seems different.. when it rains life is like a fairytale...

It's a bright/dark life

I know how it feels to be heart broken.. i've been there so many times now.. i've been there when i lost all of my friends,when i lost my grandma,when i lost a lot of things.. maybe that's the reason why i have monophobia.. I feel that i'm always gonna be alone and no one will ever understand me... Imagine a high mountain and a tiny human trying to climb it... that is how i feel right now.. Those feelings and fears will never go away.. I don't know if it is my fault .. the only thing i know is pain.. Wrong choices, bad experiences that will always haunt me. No hope ...
And yet in this whole situation I fight again.Thanks to my amazing family and friends. They can make me feel strong and stand up for myself no matter what. They will always support me and i'm sincerely glad. I can fight the darkness.. I can remove all the black pieces and replace them with white ones.. But that's not the meaning of life isn't it ? You are supposed to be a better person and not give up.. learn from your mistakes,life goes on and we have to leave it... '' Life is like a piano.. the white keys represent happiness,the black keys show sadness..but as you go through life's journey,remember that the black keys make music too''